My ASD Child

“We've been going in circles with our high functioning (autistic) 8 y.o. and his disruptive behavior – hitting, kicking, throwing things, just to name a few. We have tried all that we know to try. It's been difficult when he acts out, not respecting us or his siblings. It impacts the entire family! Do you have any ideas of how to handle disruptive behavior of this kind?” One of the biggest obstacles a parent faces is managing disruptive behavior in the child with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA). Whether the child is refusing to eat what was prepared, or throwing tantrum on the way to school, the parent can find herself at a loss for an effective way to respond. If you are at your wits end, the ABC method can provide a roadmap to a calmer, more reliable way to manage problematic behaviors. This method also offers a chance to help the AS or HFA child to gain the developmental skills he needs to regulate his own behavior. The ABC Method of Behavior Man...

Question How can I tell the difference between “aspergers behavior” and pure “disobedience” …I’m not sure what should be punished – and what should not? Answer Many moms and dads have a difficult time distinguishing between “disobedience” and “misunderstanding” in their Aspergers (high functioning autism) youngster. Because he may not interpret social cues correctly, it may be difficult for an Aspergers youngster to understand what is expected of him, and he may not understand the impact his behavior has on other family members. So, how can parents tell the difference between “Aspergers behavior” versus “misbehavior”? Most Aspergers-related behavior (sometimes misinterpreted by parents as “misbehavior”) tends to revolve around the child’s resistance to any kind of change. An Aspergers child is resistant to change for the following reasons: Has anxiety about a current or upcoming event (e.g., the start of school) Does not understanding how the world works Does n...

The concept of "theory of mind" refers to the ability to understand that others have their own beliefs, desires, and intentions, which may differ from one's own. This cognitive skill is crucial for effective social interaction and communication. In children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), deficits in theory of mind can sometimes manifest as behaviors that may be misinterpreted as misbehavior. Understanding these behaviors in the context of theory of mind can lead to more empathy and effective support for autistic children. 1. What Does Theory of Mind Look Like in Typical Development? Typically developing children begin to exhibit theory of mind skills around the age of 2 to 3 years. They start to understand that others can have different thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. By the time children reach preschool age, they are often able to engage in simple forms of pretend play, empathize, and navigate social situations with increasing complexity. 2. Theory of Mind De...

"How can we as parents possibly know the difference between unwanted behavior as a result of the traits of the disorder versus behavior that is simply a form of tantrumming?" When your child with ASD level 1, or High Functioning Autism (HFA), begins to act out, it often looks like misbehavior, sounds like misbehavior, and certainly feels like misbehavior. But for many kids on the autism spectrum, “misbehavior” (e.g., lying, acting-out, tantrums, disrespect, and other signs of apparent disobedience) may have more to do with typical autism-related traits (e.g., lack of communication skills, motor clumsiness, sensory sensitivities, cause-and-effect thinking, etc.) than with deliberate malicious intent. This DOES NOT mean you have to allow “out-of-control behavior” as just another fact of your parenting an HFA child. Your youngster still needs to learn acceptable behavior to be safe and successful. It DOES mean, though, that you're going to have to look at things fro...

“I’m a single mom raising a son on the spectrum (high functioning autistic). He is 16 and a half years old. I get eye rolls from him on a daily basis, impatient ‘Duhs’ when I say something that is apparently just so obvious, and the insistence on having it his way, whether it’s a minor event (“I want 10 more minutes on this game”), or more major (“I’m not going to dad’s this weekend”). I think he was picking up some of this cocky attitude from a few other students in school who are known to be trouble makers. Some of it I chalk up to his strong-willed personality, and, of course, a lot of it has to be his disorder. So, because I passionately want him to grow up to be strong, but not obnoxious …confident, but not rude …and determined, but not defiant, I need some advice on how to use positive discipline with this child.” Issuing consequences to an “out of line” adolescent with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger’s (AS) is likely to bring out the best and the worst in paren...

As parents of children on the autism spectrum know, there are a multitude of symptoms:  physical (e.g., fine and gross motor skills deficits, sensory sensitivities), mental (e.g., attention difficulties), emotional (e.g., shutdowns, meltdowns, obsessions), and social (e.g., problems reading nonverbal language, difficulty understanding sarcasm). However, sometimes it becomes extremely difficult for parents to differentiate between (a) behavior problems and (b) symptoms of the disorder that "look like" behavior problems. For example, the Asperger's or high-functioning autistic child who has an allergy or food sensitivity may be cranky during periods of the day. The child who finds it difficult to transition from one activity to the next may experience a meltdown. The child who has difficulty waiting his turn may throw a tantrum. Thus, we need to learn how to adjust our parenting strategies accordingly.  Sometimes, a consequence for misbehavior is inde...

Disciplining kids displaying difficult behavior associated with ASD or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) will often require an approach that is somewhat different as compared to “typical” kids. Finding the balance between (a) understanding the needs of a youngster on the autism spectrum and (b) discipline that is age appropriate and situationally necessary is achievable when a few effective strategies are applied. These strategies can be implemented both at home and school. Traditional discipline may fail to produce the desired results for kids with HFA, primarily because these children are often unable to appreciate the consequences of their actions. Consequently, punitive measures may worsen the type of behavior that they are intended to reduce, while at the same time, creating anxiety in both the youngster and parent. Behavioral Diary— Parents and teachers should consider maintaining a diary of the youngster's behavior with the goal of discovering patterns or triggers. Recur...