"Why is my 6-year-old son (high functioning autistic) so engrossed in Minecraft, and how can I tell if it is an unhealthy obsession rather than just a fun time activity for him?"
The
intensity and
duration of the child’s interest in
a particular topic, object or collection is what determines whether or not it has become an “obsession.” Children
with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) will often learn a lot about a thing they are obsessed with, be intensely
interested in it for a long time, and feel strongly about it. There are several
reasons why these kids may develop obsessions, including:
- they can get a lot of enjoyment from learning about a particular subject or
gathering together items of interest
- those who find social interaction difficult might use their special interests as a
way to start conversations and feel more self-assured in social situations
- obsessions
may help children cope with the uncertainties of daily life
- obsessions
may help children to relax and feel happy
- obsessions
may provide order and predictability
- obsessions
may provide structure
Many children with Aspergers and HFA have sensory sensitivity and
may be over- or under-sensitive to sights, sounds, smells, taste and touch.
This sensitivity can also affect children’s balance ('vestibular' system) and
body awareness ('proprioception' or knowing where our bodies are and how they
are moving). Obsessions and repetitive behavior can be a way to deal with sensory sensitivity.
Although repetitive behavior varies from child to child, the
reasons behind it may be the same:
- a source
of enjoyment and occupation
- a way to
deal with stress and anxiety and to block out uncertainty
- an
attempt to gain sensory input (e.g., rocking may be a way to stimulate the
balance or vestibular system; hand-flapping may provide visual stimulation)
- an
attempt to reduce sensory input (e.g., focusing on one particular sound may
reduce the impact of a loud, distressing environment; this may particularly be
seen in social situations)
- some
adolescents may revert to old repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand-flapping,
rocking if anxious or stressed)
Reality to a child on the autism spectrum is a confusing, interacting
mass of events, people, places, sounds and sights. Set routines, times,
particular routes and rituals all help to get order into an unbearably chaotic
life. Trying to keep everything the same reduces some of the terrible fear.
Many children with the disorder have a strong preference for
routines and sameness. Routines often serve an important function. For example,
they introduce order, structure and predictability and help to manage anxiety.
Because of this, it can be very distressing if the child’s routine is
disrupted.
Sometimes minor changes (e.g., moving between two
activities) can be distressing. For others, big events (e.g., holidays, birthdays,
Christmas, etc.), which create change and upheaval, can cause anxiety.
Unexpected changes are often most difficult to deal with.
Some children on the spectrum have daily timetables so that
they know what is going to happen, when. However, the need for routine and
sameness can extend beyond this. You might see:
- a need
for routine around daily activities such as meals or bedtime
- changes
to the physical environment (e.g., the layout of furniture in a room), or the
presence of new people or absence of familiar ones, being difficult to manage
- compulsive
behavior (e.g., the child might be constantly washing his hands or checking
locks)
- rigid
preferences about things like food (e.g., only eating food of a certain color),
clothing (e.g., only wearing clothes made from specific fabrics), or everyday
objects (e.g., only using particular types of soap or brands of toilet paper)
- routines
can become almost ritualistic in nature, having to be followed precisely with
attention paid to the tiniest details
- verbal
rituals, with a child repeatedly asking the same questions and needing a
specific answer
Children's dependence on routines can increase during times
of change, stress or illness and may even become more dominant or elaborate at
these times. Dependence on routines may increase or re-emerge during
adolescence. Routines can have a profound effect on the lives of children with
Aspergers and HFA, their family and care-takers, but it is possible to make a child
less reliant on them.
Obsessions versus Hobbies—
Most of us have hobbies, interests and a preference for
routine. Here are five questions that can help us distinguish between
hobbies/interests versus obsessive behavior:
- Can the
child stop the behavior independently?
- Does the
child appear distressed when engaging in the behavior or does the child give
signs that he is trying to resist the behavior (e.g., someone who flaps their
hands may try to sit on their hands to prevent the behavior)?
- Is the
behavior causing significant disruption to others (e.g., moms and dads,
care-takers, peers, siblings)?
- Is the
behavior impacting on the child’s learning?
- Is the
behavior limiting the child’s social opportunities?
If your answer to any of the questions above is 'yes', it
may be appropriate to look at ways of helping your youngster to reduce
obsessive or repetitive behavior. Think about whether, by setting limits around
a particular behavior, you are really helping your youngster. Is the behavior
actually a real issue for him, for you, or for other people in his life?
Focus on developing skills that your youngster can use
instead of repetitive or obsessive behavior. Try to understand the function of
the behavior, then make small, gradual changes and be consistent. Here are some
ideas to help you:
1. Coping
with change: If unexpected changes occur, and your youngster is finding it hard
to cope, try re-directing them to a calming activity, or encourage them to use
simple relaxation techniques such as breathing exercises. You could use praise
or other rewards for coping with change. In the long term, this may help make
your youngster more tolerant of change.
2. Explore
alternative activities: One way to interrupt repetitive behavior is for a
youngster to do another enjoyable activity that has the same function (e.g., a
youngster who flicks their fingers for visual stimulation could play with a
kaleidoscope or a bubble gun; a
youngster who puts inedible objects in their mouth could have a bag with edible
alternatives that provide similar sensory experiences such as raw pasta or
spaghetti, or seeds and nuts; a youngster who rocks to get sensory input could
go on a swing; a youngster who smears their poop could have a bag with play
dough in it to use instead).
3. Intervene
early: Repetitive behaviors, obsessions and routines are generally harder to
change the longer they continue. A
behavior that is perhaps acceptable in a young child may not be appropriate as
they get older and may, by this time, be very difficult to change. For example,
a youngster who is obsessed with shoes and tries to touch people's feet might
not present too much of a problem, but a teenager doing the same thing -
especially to strangers - will obviously be problematic. It will help if you
can set limits around repetitive behaviors from an early age and look out for
any new behavior that emerges as your youngster gets older. Making your
youngster's environment and surroundings more structured can help them to feel
more in control and may reduce anxiety. If anxiety is reduced, the need to
engage in repetitive behavior and adhere strictly to routines may also, in
time, be reduced.
4. Pre-planning:
You may be able to help your youngster to cope with change, or activities and
events that could be stressful, by planning for them in advance. Change is unavoidable, but it can be really
difficult for many children with the disorder. You may not always be able to
prepare for change a long time in advance, but try to give your youngster as
much warning as possible. Gradually introducing the idea of a new person,
place, object or circumstance can help them cope with the change. Try to talk
about the event or activity when everyone is fairly relaxed and happy. Presenting information visually can be a good
idea, as your youngster can refer to it as often as they need to. You could try using calendars so that your
youngster knows how many days it is before an event (e.g., Christmas) happens.
This can help them feel prepared.
Your youngster might also like to see photos
of places or objects in advance so they know what to expect (e.g., a picture of
their Christmas present) or a photo of the building they are going to for an
appointment. Using social stories could also be helpful. These are short
stories, often with pictures, that describe different situations and activities
so that children with Aspergers and HFA know what to expect. Pre-planning can also involve structuring the
environment.
For example, a student with HFA might go to use a computer
in the library at lunchtime if they find being in the playground too stressful
– or if a youngster has sensory sensitivity, minimizing the impact of things
like noises (e.g., school bells) or smells (e.g., perfumes or soaps) can help
them to cope better. It is possible that
more structured environments may reduce boredom, which is sometimes a reason
for repetitive behavior. You might prepare a range of enjoyable or calming
activities to re-direct your youngster to if they seem bored or stressed.
5. Self-regulation
skills: Self-regulation skills are any activities that help your youngster to
manage their own behavior and emotions.
If you can help your youngster to identify when they are feeling
stressed or anxious and use an alternative response (e.g., relaxation
techniques or asking for help), you may, in time, see less repetitive or
ritualistic behavior. Research has also
shown that increasing a child’s insight into an obsession or repetitive
behavior can significantly reduce it. This includes children with quite severe
learning disabilities.
6. Set
limits: Setting limits around repetitive behavior, routines and obsessions is
an important and often essential way to minimize their impact on your
youngster's life. You could set limits in a number of ways depending which
behavior concerns you. For example, you can ration objects (e.g., can only
carry five pebbles in pocket), ration places (e.g., spinning only allowed at
home), and ration times (e.g., can watch his favorite DVD for 20 minutes twice
a day). Everyone involved with your youngster should take the same consistent
approach to setting limits. Have clear rules about where, when, with whom and
for how long a behavior is allowed. You could present this information
visually, with a focus on when your youngster can engage in the behavior. This
may help if they feel anxious about restricted access to an obsession or
activity.
7. Social
skills training: Teaching social skills (e.g.,
how to start and end a conversation, appropriate things to talk about,
how to read other people's 'cues') may mean someone with Aspergers or HFA feels more
confident and doesn't need to rely on talking about particular subjects (e.g.,
a special interest).
8. Understand
the function of the behavior: Obsessions, repetitive behavior and routines are
frequently important and meaningful to children on the spectrum, helping them to
manage anxiety and have some measure of control over a confusing and chaotic
world. For others, the behavior may help with sensory issues. Take a careful
look at what you think might be causing the behavior and what purpose it might
serve. For example, does your youngster
always seem to find a particular environment (e.g., a classroom) hard to cope
with? Is it too bright? Could you turn off strip lighting and rely on natural
daylight instead?
9. Visual
supports: Visual supports (e.g., photos, symbols, written lists or physical
objects) can really help children with Aspergers and HFA. A visual timetable could help your youngster
to see what is going to happen next. This makes things more predictable and
helps them to feel prepared. It may lessen their reliance on strict routines of
their own making.
Visual supports like egg timers or 'time timers' can help
some children with an autism spectrum disorder to understand abstract concepts like time, plan
what they need to do, when in order to complete a task, and understand the
concept of waiting. Visual supports can
also be useful if your youngster asks the same question repeatedly. One parent
wrote down the answer to a question, put it on the fridge and, whenever her son
asked the question, told him to go to the fridge and find the answer. For kids
who can't read, you could use pictures instead of words.
10. Make use
of obsessions: Obsessions can be used to increase your youngster's skills and
areas of interest, promote self-esteem, and encourage socializing. You may find
you can look at a particular obsession and think of ways to develop it into
something more functional. Here are some examples:
- A child
with a special interest in historical dates could join a history group and meet
others with similar interests.
- A child
with knowledge of sport or music would be a valuable member of a pub quiz team.
- A strong
preference for ordering or lining up objects could be developed into housework
skills.
- An
interest in particular sounds could be channeled into learning a musical
instrument.
- An
obsession with rubbish could be used to develop an interest in recycling, and
the youngster given the job of sorting items for recycling.
More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:
==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's
==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism
==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance
==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook
==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book
==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
COMMENTS:
• Anonymous said… Mine is 17 and still obsessed. I think we have every game, plus the cards, and watch the cartoon. HELP!
• Anonymous said… My 14 year old- obsessed with Pokemon. Sets him noticeably apart from his peers, and is definitely an issue. frown emoticon
• Anonymous said… my 25 year old son with ASPERGERS is obsessed with stunt riding.. he is getting good at it. came 12th in the british stunt championships last year. wink emoticon
• Anonymous said… My Aspie son was too at that age. Rest assured, he will move on to other things but with just as much obsession! Whatever makes them happy.....
• Anonymous said… My lad of 21 now he has aspergers.was mad on pokemon and digimon.
• Anonymous said… My son is obsessed with this too!
• Anonymous said… My teenager( Aspergers) at age 6 was obessed with Spongebob. We would turn the Television and he could repeat the episode without pictures or words. I think that they just love different things and have a likeable interest. My normal 6 year old is obsessed with Sonic. He is at the top of his class and this is the 2nd 9weeks weeks of report cards. He wants every character. At least it is a good thing and not something bad.
• Anonymous said… Pokemon was created by an autistic man, so I can see why they can become an interest.
• Anonymous said… Sounds familiar our 12 year old loves pokemon magic the gathering mine craft and Spider-Man
• Anonymous said… This is an excellent article! Our 7-year-old grandson is obsessed with Minecraft. We have to curb his enthusiasm for discussing Minecraft every single minute of the day, or we would go completely batty! We tell him that although he loves Minecraft, not everyone shares his interest, and it's important to find out what other people's interests are, and not to monopolize conversations talking about his interests only.
• Anonymous said… When our Aspergers son got into Pokemon it was actually a HUGE help for him socially. Since all the kids were into it, he actually had common interests and they could all talk Pokemon. We saw a lot of social growth during this phase so the obsession was actually very healthy for him. * Anonymous said...I have a 9 year old son. He was assessed two years ago by a Dr. at Stanford University. I went in there thinking he would come out with a diagnosis for ADHD Inattentive at the bare minimum, but instead we walked out an hour later being told he was only dyslexic. I still don’t understand how that one was the official diagnosis because I really don’t see a connection with him. He doesn’t have troubles reading, and he never complains about the letters looking different. Fast forward to today. At 9 years old his mannerisms are starting to really stick out from other kids his age. You can’t really play it off as him being a “little” boy because he is acting sort of immaturely for a 9 year old. He is also very in tune with remembering dates to when certain people were born. When certain musicians first played a rock and roll song and when movies we’re first released. He then compares that to something like when he was born. “Mom you know that movie, (movie title) came out on November five, 1987”. (He says “five” rather than saying “fifth). Then he says, “that means it came out 27 years before I was born!” Mind you, no one inquired about the song or asked him anything about it but he’s correct on the dates and feels the need to tell you about it. He’s also obsessed with space and Roblox right now and loves informing you on all things associated with them. With all his knowledge of dates and times in history, he absolutely struggles in school. He’s in speech because he has a little trouble speaking and pronouncing sounds. He’s also in “Learning Lab” getting extra one-on-one help with school work with a school resource teacher. Ask him to write an essay about a certain topic and he can’t form thoughts and write them down. The teacher wants a intro. paragraph, main body and a conclusion. He writes random sentences that are not cohesive and go way off track. Have him read a one page, age appropriate news article written for kids and he can’t answer a 5 question quiz afterwards of what they just read. It’s very interesting how he can be so correct with recalling dates off the top of his head but his short term memory is so much different. I just feel like something is going on with this wonderful child of mine. He’s so quirky and ridiculously sweet, I love him to bits but I’m concerned about him. :-/
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