“Any tips for dealing with a child (high functioning) who only talks about his current favorite game (Lego DC super-villains)? When I say ‘only’ – I mean as in 100 % of the time. His incessant rambling on this subject gets in the way of homework, chores, dinnertime, bedtime, and annoys his siblings (just to name a few). Please help!”
You’re definitely not alone. Kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s often have eccentric preoccupations or intense fixations (e.g., sometimes obsessively collecting unusual things).They tend to ask repetitive questions about the special interest, follow their own inclinations regardless of external demands, have trouble letting go of ideas, refuse to learn about anything outside their limited field of interest, and relentlessly "lecture" on areas of interest.
Here are a few suggestions for dealing with your son’s obsession:
1. Use your son’s fixation to broaden his interests. Get really creative here! For example, he can use his fascination with Lego DC Super-Villains as a way to:
- contemplate important social skills (e.g., one mother of an HFA child stated, “The main draw of the game for my son is he absolutely has a blast having his character interact with others in the world and actually be a major part of the story”)
- gain a better understanding of his emotions (e.g., another parent remarked, “This game was a huge hit in my house as my son made multiple costumes depending on his mood”).
2. Use positive reinforcement selectively directed to shape a desired behavior. Most kids on the autism spectrum respond well to compliments. In the case of your son relentlessly talking about one topic, you can consistently praise him as soon as he pauses – and congratulate him for allowing others to speak. Your son should also be praised for simple, expected social behavior that is taken for granted in his “typical” siblings.
3. Some kids on the spectrum will simply refuse to focus on something outside of their area of interest. In this case, firm expectations must be set for doing chores, completion of homework, getting ready for bed, etc. It must be made very clear to your son that he is not in control, and that he must follow specific rules. At the same time, however, meet him halfway by giving him opportunities to pursue his own interests at the appropriate times.
4. See if it’s possible for your son’s teacher to give some assignments that link his interest to a subject being studied at school. For example, during a social studies unit about a specific country, one student (with Asperger’s) who was obsessed with trains was assigned to research the modes of transportation used by people in that country.
5. Do not allow your son to repeatedly discuss - or ask questions about - his isolated interest. Limit this behavior by designating a specific time during the day when he can talk about it. For example, if while eating dinner you are talking about the guests who will be coming over for a Christmas party, but your son intrudes with a monologue about the Lego game, you can simply state the “we are not discussing your game right now …we can talk about that after dinner” (then continue with the original conversation).
One child who was fixated on animals and had endless questions about turtles knew that she was allowed to ask these questions only after dinner. This was part of her daily routine, and she quickly learned to stop herself when she began asking these kinds of questions at other times of the day.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance
==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook
==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book
==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance
==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook
==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book
==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning.
Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him,
rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression.
As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and
depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.
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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown
temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from
ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child
is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are
totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the
least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into
the next - the meltdown can return in full force.
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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the
autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a
teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an
average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for
even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’
disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.
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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and
he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse
strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face
many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for
teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one
mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."
Click here to read the full article…
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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are
“mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and
intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to
identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits
reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he
or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish,
insensitive and uncaring.
Click here to read the full article...
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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her
“out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress,
anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.
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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have
difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults
may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display
symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.
