As parents of children on the autism spectrum know, there are a multitude of symptoms:
- physical (e.g., fine and gross motor skills deficits, sensory sensitivities),
- mental (e.g., attention difficulties),
- emotional (e.g., shutdowns, meltdowns, obsessions),
- and social (e.g., problems reading nonverbal language, difficulty understanding sarcasm).
However, sometimes it becomes extremely difficult for parents to differentiate between (a) behavior problems and (b) symptoms of the disorder that "look like" behavior problems. For example, the Asperger's or high-functioning autistic child who has an allergy or food sensitivity may be cranky during periods of the day. The child who finds it difficult to transition from one activity to the next may experience a meltdown. The child who has difficulty waiting his turn may throw a tantrum. Thus, we need to learn how to adjust our parenting strategies accordingly.
Sometimes, a consequence for misbehavior is indeed warranted. Other times, the "misbehavior" may be the result of something that stresses the child to the point of acting-out his emotions, because he has not learned any other way to cope with the problem in question (yet).
Any of the following symptoms can result in a behavior pattern that "looks like" intentional misbehavior (or a disrespectful attitude):
- Allergies and food sensitivities
- Appearance of hearing problems (but hearing has been checked and is fine)
- Can become overwhelmed with too much verbal direction
- Causes injury to self (e.g., biting, banging head)
- Difficulty attending to some tasks
- Difficulty changing from one floor surface to another (e.g., carpet to wood, sidewalk to grass)
- Difficulty maintaining friendships
- Difficulty moving through a space (e.g., bumps into objects or people)
- Difficulty reading facial expressions and body language
- Difficulty sensing time (e.g., knowing how long 5 minutes is or 3 days or a month)
- Difficulty transferring skills from one area to another
- Difficulty transitioning from one activity to another
- Difficulty understanding directional terms (e.g., front, back, before, after)
- Difficulty understanding group interactions
- Difficulty understanding jokes, figures of speech or sarcasm
- Difficulty understanding the rules of conversation
- Difficulty waiting for their turn (e.g., standing in line)
- Difficulty with fine motor activities (e.g., coloring, printing, using scissors, gluing)
- Difficulty with reading comprehension (e.g., can quote an answer, but unable to predict, summarize or find symbolism)
- Does not generally share observations or experiences with others
- Exceptionally high skills in some areas -- and very low in others
- Experience sensitivity - or lack of sensitivity - to sounds, textures, tastes, smells or light
- Extreme fear for no apparent reason
- Feels the need to fix or rearrange things
- Fine motor skills are developmentally behind peers (e.g., hand writing, tying shoes, using scissors, etc.)
- Gross motor skills are developmentally behind peers (e.g., riding a bike, skating, running)
- Has an intolerance to certain food textures, food colors, or the way food is presented on the plate (e.g., one food can’t touch another)
- Has an unusually high - or low - pain tolerance
- Inability to perceive potentially dangerous situations
- Irregular sleep patterns
- Makes honest, but inappropriate observations
- Makes verbal sounds while listening (i.e., echolalia)
- May need to be left alone to release tension and frustration
- Meltdowns
- Minimal acknowledgement of others
- Obsessions with objects, ideas or desires
- Odd or unnatural posture (e.g., rigid or floppy)
- Often experiences difficulty with loud or sudden sounds
- Overly trusting or unable to read the motives behinds peoples’ actions
- Perfectionism in certain areas
- Play is often repetitive
- Prefers to be alone, aloof or overly-friendly
- Resistance - or inability - to follow directions
- Resistance to being held or touched
- Responds to social interactions, but does not initiate them
- Ritualistic or compulsive behavior patterns (e.g., sniffing, licking, watching objects fall, flapping arms, spinning, rocking, humming, tapping, sucking, rubbing clothes)
- Seems unable to understand another’s feelings
- Seizure activity
- Short attention span for most lessons
- Speech is abnormally loud or quiet
- Talks excessively about one or two topics (e.g., dinosaurs, movies, etc.)
- Tends to either tune out - or break down - when being reprimanded
- Tends to get too close when speaking to someone (i.e., lack of personal space)
- Transitioning from one activity to another is difficult
- Unaware of/disinterested in what is going on around them
- Uses a person’s name excessively when speaking to them
- Usually resists change in their environment (e.g., people, places, objects)
- Verbal outbursts
- Very little or no eye contact
Your child's behavior is observable and measurable (i.e., any action that can be seen or heard). An effective method of examining his or her behavior is the ABC model:
A=Antecedent: The event occurring before a behavior (the event prompts a certain behavior)
B=Behavior: Response to the events that can be seen or heard
C=Consequence: The event that follows the behavior, which effects whether the behavior will occur again (when the behavior is followed by an unpleasant consequence, it is less likely to reoccur; when the behavior is followed by a pleasant consequence, it is more likely to reoccur)
Let’s look at a simple example of how the ABC model works:
Your child is throwing a temper tantrum because he wants your attention. If you respond to the tantrum (whether to comfort or scold), your child's misbehavior is being rewarded by your reaction (even though it’s a negative reaction). Thus, in this situation, it would be best if you waited for the tantrum to stop, and then reward (i.e., reinforce) the calm behavior verbally (e.g., “I like how quiet you are being right now”). In this way, your child learns that he can gain the your attention through more appropriate behavior.
When using the ABC model, always remember that your child is not an experiment, rather he is an individual capable of changing unwanted behavior - when offered the correct means to do so. It's your job to focus on the behavior you would like to increase or decrease. The more you learn about behavior modification techniques, the more tools you will possess to help shape and promote the behavior you want to see more often in your child.
More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:
==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's
==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism
==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance
==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook
==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book
==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism