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Aspergers/HFA Kids and Lack of Cooperation
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Helping Your Aspergers or HFA Child Succeed In School
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Asperger's: Common Questions & Quick Answers
- A child with AS wants to fit in and make friends, he just does not know how to do it.
- AS usually affects a child's social skills, communication skills, and behavior.
- AS is a problem of child development.
- The child usually functions well in every day life, but he has problems interacting with others.
- AS causes a wide range of developmental problems in children.
- AS is a brain disorder.
- It is one of the pervasive developmental disorders (PDD).
- Other PDD's include Autism, Rett's syndrome, Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, and PDD-not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS).
- AS is sometimes called High-Functioning Autism.
- Unlike an autistic child, a child with AS has fewer problems with language, and usually has average to above average intelligence.
- The cause is unknown.
- It may have something to do with genetics, or how the brain works.
- Parents do not cause AS.
- Anyone can get AS.
- Parents of a child with AS are more likely to have another child with AS.
- It is more common in boys than in girls.
- Has problems making friends
- Lacks social skills
- Seems unaware of others' feelings
- Unable to carry on conversations
- Cannot start a conversation or keep one going
- May have problems with nonverbal communication or body language
- Avoids eye contact
- Does not use or understand hand gestures
- Does not change his face when talking with others (e.g., not smiling when telling something funny)
- Does not understand other people's facial expressions (e.g., not understanding why someone would smile at a joke)
- May have a short attention span
- Repeats a word or phrase over and over again
- Words may be very formal and loud
- Clumsy
- Does not like changes in every-day routines
- Only interested in a few things (e.g., collecting rocks, listening to music)
- May have obsessive behavior
- Collects categories of things such as rocks or paper clips
- Knows categories of information like Latin names of flowers or football statistics
- May have problems with reading, writing or math skills
- Lacks organization skills
- Repeats certain behaviors over and over again
- The doctor will watch your child and ask you about his symptoms. How have his social and language skills changed over time? His behavior?
- It is usually diagnosed between 3 and 9 years old.
- The child may need to be seen by a developmental pediatrician or psychiatrist (i.e., special doctors who are trained to diagnose AS).
- He may need tests.
- AS cannot be diagnosed at birth.
- AS can be difficult to diagnose because the child can function well in every-day life.
- A doctor should see the child as soon as any signs or symptoms are noticed.
- No. AS is not contagious.
- Treatment depends on the level of functioning of your child. A child with higher intelligence will have a better outcome.
- Types of treatments include: (a) behavioral modification, (b) education and training, (c) language therapy, (d) medicines for specific behavioral problems, (e) parent education and training, (f) psychotherapy, (g) sensory integration training (i.e., the child is treated to be less sensitive to things that bother him a lot), and (h) social skills training.
- It is important if all of the child's caregivers are involved in the treatment. This can include family members, close friends, babysitters, teachers, etc.
- Your child will most likely continue to have some problems throughout his life (e.g., there is an increased risk of developing depression or anxiety), but he will be able to make friends and have long-lasting relationships.
- With treatment, your child can learn to live with the condition. Many children are able finish high school, and then eventually attend college and get a job.
- There is no cure for AS.
- AS cannot be prevented because we do not know what causes it.
- Your child has a legal right to receive special services at school. Talk to your doctor or teachers for more information. They can help you decide what school setting and education plan will be best for your child.
- Call your child's doctor, your child's school, or a support group for help. There are many organizations that can help you cope and teach you how to manage life with a child with AS.
- Call your doctor if your child shows behaviors of AS from the signs and symptoms list above.
- Call your doctor if you have any questions about your child's condition.
The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook
Aspergers/HFA Children and Split Personality
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Preparing Family Members for Your ASD Child's Behavior: Tips for Family Gatherings
I understand that we will be visiting each other for a family get-together! Sometimes these visits can be very hard for me, but here is some information that might help our visit to be more successful.
As you probably know, I am challenged by a hidden disorder called Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD (some people refer to it as High-Functioning Autism). ASD is a neuro-developmental disorder which sometimes makes it hard for me to understand the environment around me. I have barriers in my brain that you can’t see, but which may make it difficult for me to adapt to my surroundings.
Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt, but it is only because I have to try to understand people, and at the same time make myself understood. Children with ASD have different abilities. For example, some may not speak much, and some write beautiful poetry. Others are whizzes in math (Albert Einstein had a form of autism), or may have difficulty making friends. We are all different and need various degrees of support.
Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, it might feel painful and make me want to run away. I get easily frustrated, too. Being around a lot of other people sometimes feels like standing next to a moving freight train – and trying to decide how and when to jump aboard. I may feel frightened and confused some of the time. This is why I like to have things the same as much as possible. Once I learn how things happen, I can stay pretty calm. But if something changes, then I may have to relearn the situation all over again!
When you talk to me, I may not be able to comprehend everything you are saying to me if there is a lot of noise and distraction around. I usually have to concentrate to hear and understand one thing at a time. You might think I am ignoring you, but I am not. Rather, I am hearing everything, but not knowing what is most important to respond to.
Holidays can be hard for me because there are so many different people, places, and things going on that are out of my ordinary environment. This may be fun and adventurous for most kids, but for me, it can be hard work and extremely stressful. I often have to get away from all the commotion to calm down. It would be great if you had a private place set up to where I could retreat.
If I can’t sit at the meal table, please don’t think that I am misbehaving or that my mom and dad have no control over me. Sitting in one place for very long is often very hard for me. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all the smells, sounds, and people. When this happens, I just have to get up and move about. But please don’t stop eating on my account. Go on without me, and my mom or dad will handle the situation the best way they know how.
Eating in general can be hard for me. If you understand that ASD is a sensory processing disorder, it’s no wonder eating is a problem. Think of all the senses involved with eating (e.g., sight, smell, taste, touch) and all the complicated mechanics that are involved (e.g., chewing and swallowing). This is something that some kids with the disorder have trouble with. I am not being picky. I just can’t eat certain foods because my sensory system is overly-sensitive. (Hope you understand.)
Also, please don’t be disappointed if my mother or father doesn’t dress me in fancy clothes. It’s because they know how much stiff and itchy clothes can drive me nuts! I have to feel comfortable in my clothes, or I will just be miserable. When I go to someone else’s house, I may appear bossy and irritable. In a way, I am being controlling, because that is how I try to fit into the world around me. I like things to be done in a way I am familiar with or else I might get confused and frustrated. It doesn’t mean you have to change the way you are doing things. Just please be patient with me and understanding of how I have to cope.
My parents have no control over how my ASD makes me feel inside. Kids with this disorder often have little things that they do to help themselves feel more comfortable. The professionals call it “self regulation,” or “stimming.” I might rock, hum, flick my fingers, or any number of different things. I am not trying to be disruptive or weird. Again, I am doing what I have to do for my brain to adapt to the environment. Sometimes I cannot stop myself from talking, singing, or doing an activity I enjoy. The professionals call this “perseverating,” which is similar to self-regulation or stimming. I do this only because I have found something to occupy myself that makes me feel comfortable. Perseverative behaviors are good to a certain degree because they help me calm down.
Holidays are filled with sights, sounds, and smells. The average home is turned into a busy, frantic, festive place. This may be fun for most kids, but it can be hard work for me to conform. If I fall apart or act-out in a way that you consider socially inappropriate, please remember that I don’t possess the neurological system that is required to follow some social rules. In any event, I will try very hard to be on my best behavior when we get together during the holidays.
Thanks for listening. I’m looking forward to seeing you.
________ (child’s name)
From: www.MyAspergersChild.com
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==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance
==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook
==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book
==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism
Transition Services for Aspergers Teens
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"Job Interview Tips" for Teens with ASD Level 1 [Asperger's]
Marcus and his boss, Mr. Whitfield |
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance
==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook
==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book
==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism
Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:
==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD
==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives
==> Living with ASD: eBook and Audio Instruction for Neurodiverse Couples
==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by ASD
==> Online Group Therapy for Couples Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Cassandra Syndrome Recovery for NT Wives
==> ASD Men's MasterClass: Social-Skills Training and Emotional-Literacy Development
==> Pressed for time? Watch these "less-than-one-minute" videos for on the go.
BEST COMMENT:
Found the interview advice tips very helpful. Our son is waiting to see if he has got an engineering apprenticeship. If he is offered a place, it will involve an interview with the company which may be interested in taking him on. We are keeping our fingers crossed for him. These tips may come in handy. Thanks Marcus!
LEGO Engineering Online Class for Students with Special Needs
Helping Your Aspergers Child Survive the Holidays
As parents we naturally want our children to enjoy it all and have as much fun as we did so we talk, anticipate and prepare with mounting excitement as the celebrations draw nearer. However for those families who are raising a child with Aspergers, it may all add up to an almighty headache! Children with Aspergers have a real hard time coping with all of these celebrations, and if they have their birthday on top of that… well you may as well pack up and go away until Spring!
Anticipation for a child with Aspergers leads to increased levels of anxiety which they cannot control. They become overloaded, and then you have a massive meltdown at the time when you are all supposed to be enjoying and celebrating the season of peace and goodwill! The party may be ruined and everybody upset, especially your child who is trying so hard to fit in and be like everybody else.
The first simple step to take is to simply reduce the time talking about the festive occasion. Remember he can't easily control his emotions, and to chatter constantly about the event will simply lead to stress and anxiety. It is useful to enlist the help of others in your home in this and keep any conversations to a minimum while your Aspergers child is around.
Another great strategy to help is to keep any physical changes to your home to the minimum, so by all means decorate, put up cards and a tree, but just don’t make a big fuss about it all. A good tip is to not put out any presents until the day they are to be opened as your Aspergers child will have a hard time keeping their hands off and will became anxious and potentially oppositional.
Although it’s important not to overload your child, it is equally important to explain any changes to her routines. So prepare your child for any changes by calmly telling her the day before what will be happening. Visual supports always work well, so use photos or simple pictures to explain what will be happening. It is also important to explain to your child what is expected of her (e.g., to say "hello how are you" to guests and sit at the table to share the meal).
Your child will also need to be given permission to leave the festivities, and you can rehearse this together with some simple role-play. This is really important as it gives your child an exit strategy and also allows her to get through the celebrations without going into meltdown. Additionally if you see that he is becoming distressed, you can also activate an exit cue so your child gets out before the situation deteriorates.
So to summarize briefly, it is important to keep preparations and discussions around the holidays to a minimum when the child with Aspergers is around. Preparing her as to what will be expected of her at this time, as well as incorporating an exit strategy, will help further. Good luck!
I want to thank you for this. Holidays....all holidays...are very hard for my boy and the family, and its good to know im not alone or imagining this.
Aspergers Girls and Relationships
- Difficulty reading social cues and body language
- Problems with social skills
- Demonstrating impatience
- Difficulty developing empathy for others
Aspergers Teens and Video Game Addiction
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Educating Your Child's Teachers About High-Functioning Autism {Aspergers}
- There is a great likelihood that the response or "rise" that the "bully" gets from the Asperger youngster reinforces this kind of behavior.
- Asperger kids want to be included and/or liked so badly that they are reluctant to "tell" on the bully, fearing rejection from the perpetrator or other children.
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance
==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook
==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book
==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism
Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:
==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD
==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives
==> Living with ASD: eBook and Audio Instruction for Neurodiverse Couples
==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by ASD
==> Online Group Therapy for Couples Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder
==> Cassandra Syndrome Recovery for NT Wives
==> ASD Men's MasterClass: Social-Skills Training and Emotional-Literacy Development
==> Pressed for time? Watch these "less-than-one-minute" videos for on the go.
Anonymous said...
My son had a bad day yesterday. His worst yet at school. His teacher had them play math bingo. I told her the day before that it would be too stressful for him but he played yesterday. He could not hear her and the kids would not be quiet as he was trying to solve the problem. He had a meltdown and begin threatening people and the class and throwing paper. Today we have a 504 meeting for him. What ideas can I give his teacher to help him in these situations. They are very high stress for him. I was thinking ear plugs and her getting eye to eye with him and giving him the problem or her writing it down and giving it to him as she gives it to the class. He enjoys the game so I dont want to take it away all together.
Anonymous said...
My daughter, 15, had to give a speech in class and this counts a lot to final marks. The first time she tried she started to cry (she was sitting in the front of the class and so hardly anyone saw this) and had to leave the class. She tried to explain to her (new) teacher but was given no help. How do I approach the teacher/school - read somewhere that a good idea would be for my daughter to do her speech in front of 2 classmates she doesn't mind. Thanks.
Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum : ==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children ...
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Below you will find the majority of symptoms associated with High-Functioning Autism (HFA), also referred to as Asperger’s. The HFA chil...
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"Is there a list of symptoms or traits associated with high functioning autism in children? We currently have suspicions that our 6 y...